Strange nannies

Jack and his wife had peaceful long sleeps after having a baby

Author

Deen Road
July 12, 2023

Muslims Get Ahead In Just 5 Minutes

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Assalaam o alaikum!

Let’s get strange into this 👇

THE BIG IDEA

Midjourney prompt: a bed floating on a cloud

🍼 Remote nannies

I was listening to a podcast the other day of Jack Smith who sold his company Vungle for $800 million and he’s not your typical person or even typical millionaire.

He let his baby choose their own name 🫠 Legally, for the first year the baby was called: “Baby”. 🤨

And then after a year, he copied this Chinese tradition where the parents place different objects in front of the child, objects that symbolise a career. So for example a stethoscope 🩺 for a doctor, a keyboard ⌨️for IT or a car for a mechanic 🔧🚗. They then see what the child picks up which will determine their future. It’s mostly symbolic these days though.

So anyways, he did the same thing but put names infront of the baby to see which name it would crawl to, and then BAM! that was her name.

She now has an interesting story to tell for the rest of her life.

That wasn’t the strangest thing he said though.

🛌 Jack and his wife had peaceful long sleeps after having a baby

How did they do this?

They let the baby sleep in another room while they snored 😴 away in their own room a few doors down.

What? But how?

Enter the remote nanny. 💻️ 📷️ 

Apparently, a baby will usually cry for a few minutes and then go back to sleep, but if your sleeping next to it, then you might not be able to bear the cries and will pick up the baby at which point your sleep is ruined and the baby has formed a habit of expecting to be consoled whenever it cries at night.

You only really need to attend to the baby if it’s crying for more than a few minutes.. they say.

To solve this they put the baby in another room a few doors down, placed a camera over the cot and employed a guy from India to monitor the baby and to call them if the baby cries for more than 5-7 minutes. Which in their case rarely happened.

The guy in India has reportedly never taken a day off, which means even when he attends a party or a wedding, he probably places the monitor on the table to keep an eye. Not a bad job 😀 

The opportunity

Everyone loves sleep. Sleep sells. But don’t forget Fajr.

Do you have any relatives you trust from overseas who need a job? Employ them and sell sleep to wealthy couples:

“How was your sleep last night? Oh it was disturbed by your new born child! Have you heard of Remote Nannies? It costs $300 a month but literally you get the best sleep of your life every night.“

The “Sleep Sales-Person” You

HADITH

A hadith on sleep

Hudhaifa (RA) said: When the Prophet (ﷺ) went to his mattress, he would say:
 

اللَّهُمَّ بِاسْمِكَ أَمُوتُ وَأَحْيَا، وَإِذَا اسْتَيْقَظَ


‘O Allah, in Your Name I shall die and live,’ and when he woke up, he would say:
 

لْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ الَّذِي أَحْيَانًا بَعْدَمَا أَمَاتَنَا وَإِلَيْهِ النُّشُورُ


‘Praise be to Allah, who has revived us after He caused us to die, and to Him is the resurrection!'

Ash-Shama'il Al-Muhammadiyah 255, Book 39, Hadith 2

QURANLE 254

كَلَّا لَا تُطِعْهُ وَٱسْجُدْ وَٱقْتَرِب

Again, no! Never obey him ˹O Prophet˺! Rather, ˹continue to˺ prostrate and draw near ˹to Allah˺.
— Dr. Mustafa Khattab, the Clear Quran 

Word-by-word translation:

kallā         Nay
lā            (Do) not
tuṭiʿ'hu      obey him
wa-us'jud     But prostrate
wa-iq'tarib   and draw near (to Allah)

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— Deen Road

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